Weddings in Saudi

Conversation 4

After a week away from Texas during spring break, I was able to meet with Alya again today. We began by talking about our travels away from Fort Worth this past week. Alya was able to take a road trip to various cities in Texas. With her father-in-law in town she wanted to show him San Antonio before he left. Unfortunately, the city was not what they expected. There were stains and unwashed sheets in the hotel that they stayed at. It gave her a terrible impression of the city and did not want to stay the full three days they had planned. She ended up leaving and traveling to Houston. While she did enjoy her time there she says she still prefers Dallas. While I would think she would be exhausted from all that driving and traveling, she is planning to go to Oklahoma this weekend to visit a friend. She sure is making the most of her time in America!

I figured that today would be the usual conversation of what was going on in our lives and what we had planned for this week, but surprisingly I learned a lot more Alya’s culture! I told Alya that part of my spring break was shopping for my cousin’s upcoming wedding, which lead me to ask about what weddings are like in Saudi. I knew a little bit about them from my experience in Saudi, but it was so incredible to hear about a Saudi wedding from an actual Saudi who has been to many and even had one of her own.

For starters, Saudi weddings are nothing like American weddings. She began by saying that before the party is the signing of the marriage certificate where a legal advisor comes to the woman’s home and has her sign a document that states she does actually want to get married and she is able to write down conditions that the man must agree to for her to marry him. She said that these conditions are usually about allowing the woman to continue schooling; women in Saudi are afraid that once they are married the man will forbid her from going to school and will only allow her to stay home with the children. It is such a different concept than what American marriages are like.

After the signing of the documents, the husband pays the woman money which starts at $15,000 and goes up depending on how much he wants to give her. I was a little confused what this money is for or why the husband must give her money, because the man must pay for everything the woman needs. This money is the wife’s and she can do whatever she wants with it. When I told Alya, that we do not have anything like this is America, she was surprised! She didn’t see why the woman would not get money for getting married. It is funny the stark differences between different cultures. And better yet, with the signing of the documents, the two are legally married, but the woman continues to live at home with her parents while the husband visits her and the get to know each other. This can last for as long as a year before the wife moves in with the husband!

But then comes the fun part-the wedding. I had heard about the weddings before. The men and women celebrate separately, so all the men go to one place while the woman go to another. The women wear giant ball gowns and for once do not have to get covered up, since only women are around them. I have seen the dresses that women wear to theses weddings, because the top floors of most malls in Saudi Arabia are dedicated to dress shops. These are huge puffy “Cinderella” dresses in all different colors! The women gather together for huge celebrations of dinner, dancing, and congratulations to the bride. These weddings can last as long as 8 hours, and some go until sunrise the next morning! This event is a great time for mothers to meet women who may be potential wives for their sons. Meanwhile, the men gather for the groom’s celebration. They usually have a band and people are able to get up and sing along with them. All of the man make sure they shake the hand of the groom at some point during the night. Perhaps the most interesting things that Alya told me about these weddings was that the men dance with swords! Also, these weddings are huge. A small wedding party is one in which there are less than 500 people! Most weddings have over 1500 guests! Can you imagine?